I have been pregnant only once but 40 weeks of pregnancy and the first year of parenting are so insane you get a culture shock just from being in your own skin. Being broody and all I started thinking back to my pregnancy and thought of a few things I would have done differently for any future pregnancy, if there will be one in the cards for us.
1. I would have been a lot more unreasonably demanding. When we started telling people that 'we' were pregnant I had people saying, 'Spoil yourself, you're eating for two!' or 'Enjoy yourself while you can - it won't last long!' Yes, advice full of optimism it was. I should have taken it! I should have forced Grant to give me massages every night, cook dinner 3-4 nights a week, let me watch even more of my mind-numbing shows and get me clotted ice-cream at 4 am when I was up suffering from heart-burn. Problem is, if we ever decide to have another child I will not be able to do this - first-time pregnant thing - ever again, because of course I have Fynn to look after. So if you are about to get knocked-up or are already preggers - just have the biggest blow-out ever (nothing harmful for the baby of course) because when you are pregnant it is all about YOU; when you've had the baby it's all about your boobs, or your culinary skills.
2. I would have taken more 'bowl-on-the-belly- type' pictures. I must admit, when I was coming to the end of my second trimester and into my third my self-esteem was dragging behind me somewhere in the shadow of my massive ass and bump, so photos were a painful subject. But I regret so much not having those pictures taken now! I am a massive Pinterest addict and all I see are weekly updates of pregnant women in front of chalkboards with full preggie descriptions ie. '30 weeks, so-and-so pounds, happy as Larry!' scribbled in the fitting pink or blue chalks. I only have a few pictures of when I was pregnant and they are not very good; had I had more then I would have been able to choose from the very bad to the just bad, at least!
3. I would have 'owned' my bump more. When I found out I was pregnant I was dumbfounded, but eventually the ecstatic, delirious joy overcame me. Then, come September I was dumbfounded again and the realization of having to waddle into university on a daily basis was...well, horrifying! I was embarrassed of going into lectures pregnant, I wore clothes that would hide my pregnancy as much as possible and I even managed to fool a few people up until the very end of my pregnancy but how dumb was that? If I could go back in time I would slap myself so hard, and just say, 'Snap out of it you idiot!' Don't get me wrong, I was very proud of being pregnant but university seemed sort of a weird place to be pregnant at. Now I think, screw it, I managed to finish uni despite all of my hormonal mood swings and that's something to be proud of!
4. I would have read less baby literature and spent more time around actual babies. I think we can pretty much give up all hope of telling a pregnant woman to not read books about babies, however, one last attempt: Stop reading books about babies! They are there to suck you into spending more, doubting more, and fearing more! Before I had Fynn I have never held a baby before. I never changed a nappy, I never dressed or bathed a baby, I never breastfed a baby, obviously. I truly believe that I would not have been such a nervous wreck if I had only been around babies more instead of reading about them all cooped up at home. Babies are not made of glass, yes they can't hold their heads up for a while at first, no this doesn't mean that you should be scared of holding them and yes you have to be careful. But it all comes naturally, sometimes from the moment that you hold your baby for the first time. I didn't know squat about babies practically speaking, but somehow it makes sense. You know, like: wipe the bum before putting a clean nappy on, not after, and put the nipple in the baby's mouth not their eye. It's pretty logical, and practice helps!
5. Have lots and lots and LOTS of date nights. And by that I don't mean Michelin Star restaurants or nights at the Opera every other night (but if you can afford that, by all means indulge!). I mean just immerse yourselves completely in each other's company by taking long walks, watching movies, cooking dinner together and just talking about stuff because believe you me, when you start having those babies your brain will shut down at any opportunity of adult conversation! When you are out and baby's at home with a babysitter you can't focus on anything properly, and start acting like you were thrown 3000 years into the future: 'Fork... yes fork! Meat.. in my belly... Okay this is good. Wine, mmm.. I wonder what Fynn is doing, did he poop? Is he asleep? Did he have his milk or will he wake up hungry at 2am? What if he bumped his head? Oh god, why isn't the babysitter answering?!' Then, there is the scenario of going out as a threesome, where you spend the majority of the time picking up toys that Fynn is throwing off the table, rocking the buggy, baby talking such as 'Ohh baba mama boo?' Then you throw the food in your gob, neck the drink and leave as fast as possible!
So, some things to improve on. If you are pregnant or have had kids please feel free to contribute to the list in the comments below, should be interesting! :)
Stay tuned for some more robots, new felt products and more mummy blogging!